Gorilla had a very unfortunate accident. His arm and head were torn off and he lost and eye, nose, and part of his face!
Here are the diagnosis photos I received from his person:
Fortunately, he looked quite treatable. We started with a spa, because he was already going to need new stuffing:
Then he got his heart and was restuffed:
I thought he was back together and sent these photos:
His person wrote “
Wow he looks amazing!” …. but he used to have ears, can you add some? Apparently, the gorilla had lost he ears entirely! So I made a small sample ear and put it temporarily in place:
“Perfect!” said his person. So I affixed it firmly and did the other one as well. Here he is ready to fly home:
Sturdy with 100% scent, 20/20 vision, and perfect hearing again!
Before you become a parent do your future kids a favour and figure out what your automatic first response is to being annoyed or frustrated (because it will happen) and if it’s to get angry then you need to work on that. Kids can be annoying. They like loud noises and repetition and jumping around and being silly and don’t really understand social cues when they’re starting to wear on you.
Like obviously no one will ever be perfect. But if your immediate response to a grown adult annoying you is to snap back at them you’ve got to fix that before you hurt your kids with those responses.
Everyone needs to work with kids or retail before they have kids. the top 10% of the bratiest kids have the worst parents who snap at them. not only will it train you for kids but you actively see what bad parents looks like and its consequences
I’m so confused why he would think cookie dough would give him salmonella??? What parent told him this. There’s no chicken in there!
Two words: Raw eggs.
?? What kind of world do you live in where Raw eggs carry salmonella or are in anyway unsafe
Don’t ask me, ask them Americans. I’m an Asian just passing the word on
*deep breath* Though the risk is small, raw eggs can carry samonella.
MORE THREATENINGLY Raw wheat can carry E. Coli. However, if you don’t mind making your own cookie dough, you can easily make it safely.
Take your standard recipe. Omit the eggs. Eggs serve as a binding agent to hold the cookie together. Since we’re eating the dough raw, that’s not needed. Take the flour, put it in a pan and bake it at 350 for 7 minutes. Any E. Coli is now dead.
Just mix the rest of the ingredients together as the recipe is called for and BAM, perfectly safe edible cookie dough.
Thank u so fucking much for this wisdom
wait you’re telling my i can get E, Coli just FROM EATING FLOUR straight from the bag???
Why..why are you eating flour straight from the bag?
well i was using it as an alternative to romaine lettuce but i guess ill go fuck myself :/
